Let Your "Single" Bell Rock

 Steps to Coping With Begin Single During the Holidays

I know I'm not the only one who finds themselves hitting a point of realization during the holidays on how single you are. You see everyone posting adorable photos with their significant others under the mistletoe & receiving Christmas cards from the newlyweds announcing their first Christmas together.


If I'm honest, I used to turn my nose up to these photos & cards because I was in a place of insecurity with myself & my potential of finding love. I envied where my other friends & fellow social media friends relationships have taken them. I see the joy they have in sharing the first dance, having their first child, and visiting their in-laws for the holidays. Instead of being truly happy for them I would sit in my own pity thinking that I am never going to find anyone & will always be alone.

The truth is, I might never find someone & realizing that has made me feel better & less cynical during the holidays. Although I may not have someone special doesn't mean I am completely alone in my life. Instead of having a Grinch-like heart toward the season I have been able to join in celebrating others & also those around me that I love. !


Here are some steps I have taken & I am still taking in order to not let singleness get me down during the holidays & instead letting my "SINGLE" bell rock!

1. Treat Yourself: I like to consider my relationship with myself as one of the important ones. I don't mean that in a selfish way but in a healthy way of making sure I am taking care of my mind/body plus celebrating my accomplishments. It may be hard for some but I have learned over the years to be ok by myself. I like to take time to treat myself to a fancy dinner or go all out at the movies with reclining theatre seats + a large popcorn & candy. I also tend to buy myself something I have been wanting because I can. Plus during the holidays I love watching holiday movies because a healthy cry never hurt anyone. haha. Basically, if you aren't having to spend that money buying gifts for someone else why not spend some of it on yourself by buying a ticket to your dream city or a ticket to your favorite artist concert.

2. Spend time with family & friends: I know this may seem like an obvious one but I encourage you not to isolate yourself because of fear you may have to answer, "so who are you dating nowadays?" Yes, you may be tired of having to explain to grandma that you are alone & cry your self to sleep every night haha but know that she only asks because she loves you & is ready to find out who the lucky person is that snacth you up! My friends are my family &I love spending time with them. One of my favorite things is our spontaneous moments together. Such as the other night my friend Chesney & I randomly got coffee & drove through the neighborhoods looking at lights while singing Christmas carols. It does the heart good! Plus I am apart of multiple relationships haha. I am the best third wheel you know so get out there and plan a fun activity with those who make you laugh. 

3. Create new traditions: For some of you this may be your first Christmas without the one you love & I'm sorry about whatever may have caused you to be apart, but I encourage you to seek new ways to celebrate. It'll be tough but in the end, it'll be worth it. Maybe every year yall would bake a holiday pie together well this year turn that pie into a holiday cookie swap with friends. 

4. Throw your own party: I am not telling you to exclude those in a relationship but maybe this could be a fun time to let the "single" bell rock with other singles. You can gather all your single guy/girl friends for a night of tacky sweaters, white elephant exchanges, & cookie decorating. I mean who else to better understand the single struggle during the holidays than your fellow single brothers & sisters. p.s. I might actually do this, this year!

5. Give: This does the heart well & will bring so much joy to your heart. There are many ways to give back during the holidays such as volunteering at a soup kitchen, sponsoring a family for Christmas, or even buying gifts for kids in need. I even have a friend who is collecting clothes for the homeless to keep them warm during the holidays! Anything helps & why not extend a hand to those who might be feeling alone too. 

The feeling of being alone can & will feel bittersweet. The important thing is to remain in a state of gratefulness for what you do have & to enjoy every moment! I hope this is encouraging & I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!